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The Man with the Iron Fists trailer

So… the trailer for “forthcoming” Tarantino and RZA (no, me neither) film The Man with the Iron Fists is out. There are a number of aspects to this that may leap out at you (once you’ve confirmed you’re old enough — and presumably mature enough — to watch it), but probably the most obvious one is:

  • it’s screaming out in the classic Fudebakudo colours, which, as all martial scholars agree, is nearly always a tacit acknowledgement that Fudebakudo masters have been involved behind the scenes.

Anyway, here’s the trailer: on the Miramax site or on YouTube (given that the trailer is an advert anyway, watching it on YouTube means you tiresomely get to watch the advert with adverts, which may be a good enough reason to go to Miramax).

Obviously, I don’t know if the film will be any good — I haven’t been sent a preview copy, nor has an invitation to the premiere arrived. On the positive side, when everything comes together Tarantino can tell a thumpingly good tale stylishly well; but more relevant to Fudebakudo interests is the fact that he can turn out a richly-informed martial arts film too, as evidenced by the deceptively-knowing Kill Bill. On the cautious side, Lucy Liu’s agent has a knack for signing her up for films of questionable quality, and this does look a teensy bit as if she’s been asked to do an O-Ren-Ishii-a-like (which perhaps says more about how Quentin likes to imagine her than anything she had control over herself). But the real tease here is that there’s not quite enough of Russell Crowe’s dialogue to tell whether or not he’s going to be doing that sly Irish accent again, the one which so enthralled English (especially Northern English) audiences in Robin Hood.

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Jag kan inte tala svenska, men Monica kan dra vackert

I’m late reporting this but, over in Sweden, Monica Lundström has insightfully illustrated the experience of reading Fudebakudo. How fabulous is that? Very fabulous, that’s how fabulous.

Monica Lundström's illustration

Available in the original language and also in English if your Swedish is a wee bit rusty.

You can see more of Monica’s supercute illustrations, which are part of a journal-like blog of aikido musings (in Swedish, mind), at http://aikido.sjalvskyddsakademin.se.

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Steven Seagal is on the side of the animals

There can be no doubt that Steven Seagal was a Fudebakudo master in a previous life.

But still, that’s no excuse for driving over a puppy in a tank. Obviously his actions are motivated by compassion for all sentient beings (cock-fighting chickens in this case) and not simply an irrepressible masculine tendency to over-egg the weapon pudding. But still, that’s going to be a tough one for the karma committee to sort out.

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No holds bard: Shakespeare

Shakespeare

Thunderglobe: two gentlemen of Verona enter; one man leaves

There’s a new Fudebakudo image in the gallery: this one is about London’s famous Elizabethan fight venue, Shakespeare’s Thunderglobe.

The history of the Globe is fascinating and there was much that I just couldn’t fit into the limited space the Fudebakudo format allows. The performance space was known at the time as “the wooden O” (if you’re keeping up with the MMA theme, that could be O for octagon, perhaps?). The Globe itself was built using timber beams outrageously acquired by dismantling a competing theatre on the other side of the river while its owner was away on his Christmas holidays.

Today, there is a famous reconstruction in London on the South Bank, close to the site of the original. Even if you don’t go in, do spend some time inspecting and admiring the fabulous wrought iron Bankside Gates featuring plants, animals and birds from Shakespearean works, created by over one hundred different blacksmiths.

This was drawn for the current issue of Martial Arts Illustrated magazine. Looking through the magazine’s editorial over the years, the MAI readership doesn’t, in general, seem to be demanding much Shakespeare in its pages. Sadly this probably means they don’t know about the barbaric Elizabethan sport of bull-pizzling either, but I put it in anyway. Fudebakudo, in its own noble way, is always seeking to enlighten the martial masses.

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Iran’s kunoichi

Photo-journalism in The Guardian today: Iran’s female ninja (obviously that’s kunoichi on the Fudebakublog because we are so… so… into all that stuff. Yeah.)

Actually The Atlantic has a slightly fuller set of the photos taken by Caren Fixou, the Reuters photographer who somehow located and infiltrated the secret ninja kunoichi lair.

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Forgotten fashion

Furry claw boot

An illustration of a furry claw boot. And the number 7.

Here’s something you don’t see every day: a furry claw boot.

I found this in some papers recently — it seems that at some stage this was going to be footwear number 7 in Fudebakudo’s Martial Fashion (part 2) image. When that got to final draft, the furry claw boot had been replaced with the altogether more authentic “ninja tabi with wall-running sucker cups.”

The existence of such a rejected illustration reminded me of at least three things going on here: the sophisticated editorial process that goes on behind the scenes, the artistic and scholarly rigour that accompanies every such decision, and an exceptionally finely-tuned train of thought that can arrive at furry claw boots as a viable candidate for a martial arts shoe* in the first place. Each of these remarkable aspects of the creation of Fudebakudo will continue to remain — for everyone’s benefit — unseen. This illustration of a furry claw boot is a rare glimpse behind the curtain.

* Having said that, don’t be surprised if furry claw boots start turning up in MMA cage fights soon. After all, they are arguably more martial than Lycra**

** Spandex for American readers

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Three sages

The Three Sages

Adam Smith, father of capitalism and by implication a lot of dubious grading fees

Time for another new image in the gallery: this time, The Three Sages of the Age of Enlightenment, finally acknowledging the influence of Western thought on the development of the martial arts. Specifically: knocking people down, laying mats, and charging for the paperwork. Given that this is fundamentally the whole of judo and aikido in a nutshell, it’s surprising that portraits of these three do not adorn more dojo walls.

This cartoon was drawn for the current issue of MAI magazine.

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The noble art of Greco-Roman wrestling

Marina Hyde has written an excellent piece in the Guardian about the “the giddy thrill of seeing two go mankini-a-mankini in ancient contest” and the shenanigans behind the composition of the team GB wrestlers.

It’s a little disappointing that the Guardian have used such an uninspiring image for that article (no disrespect to Mark McCormick, but I don’t much like the illustration there, sorry). For a few months not so long ago I worked in the Guardian HQ (although I wasn’t employed directly by them) but, despite this, Fudebakudo seems never to have infiltrated their illustration department. Odd, that. Actually, while I was there I did get to sneak over to peek at the drawing boards of both Steve Bell (we share the irrelevant qualification of both having been in Cartoon County, the difference being that I know about his work and he’s got no interest whatsoever in mine, of course) and the most excellent Nicola Jennings, who is responsible for the Graun’s exquisite caricatures.

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Enter the dojo

Enter the Dojo is a comedy web series on Ameri-do-te, an unnervingly plausible martial art. The disturbingly earnest and witless Master Ken (Matt Page) is scarily close to some of the more dangerous loons we’ve met at Seni over the years.

Anyway, this may have been brought to my attention a little too late (sorry, so be quick if you want to help) — but Enter the Dojo is fundraising at indiegogo. If you like what they’ve done so far, support the project!

(Thanks to Tom Hill for the tip-off.)