There can be no doubt that Steven Seagal was a Fudebakudo master in a previous life.

But still, that’s no excuse for driving over a puppy in a tank. Obviously his actions are motivated by compassion for all sentient beings (cock-fighting chickens in this case) and not simply an irrepressible masculine tendency to over-egg the weapon puddling. But still, that’s going to be a tough one for the karma committee to sort out.

Thunderglobe: two gentlemen of Verona enter; one man leaves

There’s a new Fudebakudo image in the gallery: this one is about London’s famous Elizabethan fight venue, Shakespeare’s Thunderglobe.

The history of the Globe is fascinating and there was much that I just couldn’t fit into the limited space the Fudebakudo format allows. The performance space was known at the time as “the wooden O” (if you’re keeping up with the MMA theme, that could be O for octagon, perhaps?). The Globe itself was built using timber beams outrageously acquired by dismantling a competing theatre on the other side of the river while its owner was away on his Christmas holidays.

Today, there is a famous reconstruction in London on the South Bank, close to the site of the original. Even if you don’t go in, do spend some time inspecting and admiring the fabulous wrought iron Bankside Gates featuring plants, animals and birds from Shakespearean works, created by over one hundred different blacksmiths.

This was drawn for the current issue of Martial Arts Illustrated magazine. Looking through the magazine’s editorial over the years, the MAI readership doesn’t, in general, seem to be demanding much Shakespeare in its pages. Sadly this probably means they don’t know about the barbaric Elizabethan sport of bull-pizzling either, but I put it in anyway. Fudebakudo, in its own noble way, is always seeking to enlighten the martial masses.

Photo-journalism in The Guardian today: Iran’s female ninja (obviously that’s kunoichi on the Fudebakublog because we are so… so… into all that stuff. Yeah.)

Actually The Atlantic has a slightly fuller set of the photos taken by Caren Fixou, the Reuters photographer who somehow located and infiltrated the secret ninja kunoichi lair.

An illustration of a furry claw boot. And the number 7.

Here’s something you don’t see every day: a furry claw boot.

I found this in some papers recently — it seems that at some stage this was going to be footwear number 7 in Fudebakudo’s Martial Fashion (part 2) image. When that got to final draft, the furry claw boot had been replaced with the altogether more authentic “ninja tabi with wall-running sucker cups.”

The existence of such a rejected illustration reminded me of at least three things going on here: the sophisticated editorial process that goes on behind the scenes, the artistic and scholarly rigour that accompanies every such decision, and an exceptionally finely-tuned train of thought that can arrive at furry claw boots as a viable candidate for a martial arts shoe* in the first place. Each of these remarkable aspects of the creation of Fudebakudo will continue to remain — for everyone’s benefit — unseen. This illustration of a furry claw boot is a rare glimpse behind the curtain.

Adam Smith, father of capitalism and by implication a lot of dubious grading fees

Time for another new image in the gallery: this time, The Three Sages of the Age of Enlightenment, finally acknowledging the influence of Western thought on the development of the martial arts. Specifically: knocking people down, laying mats, and charging for the paperwork. Given that this is fundamentally the whole of judo and aikido in a nutshell, it’s surprising that portraits of these three do not adorn more dojo walls.

This cartoon was drawn for the current issue of MAI magazine.

I added up the votes in the Fudebakudo time wasting survey today.

It’s collected well over 2000 votes so far. Carry on.

Marina Hyde has written an excellent piece in the Guardian about the “the giddy thrill of seeing two go mankini-a-mankini in ancient contest” and the shenanigans behind the composition of the team GB wrestlers.

It’s a little disappointing that the Guardian have used such an uninspiring image for that article (no disrespect to Mark McCormick, but I don’t much like the illustration there, sorry). For a few months not so long ago I worked in the Guardian HQ (although I wasn’t employed directly by them) but, despite this, Fudebakudo seems never infiltrated their illustration department. Odd, that. Actually, while I was there I did get to sneak over to peek at the drawing boards of both Steve Bell (we share the irrelevant qualification of both having been in Cartoon County, the difference being that I know about his work and he’s got no interest whatsoever in mine, of course) and the most excellent Nicola Jennings, who is responsible for the Graun’s exquisite caricatures.

Enter the Dojo is a comedy web series on Ameri-do-te, an unnervingly plausible martial art. The disturbingly earnest and witless Master Ken (Matt Page) is scarily close to some of the more dangerous loons we’ve met at Seni over the years.

Anyway, this may have been brought to my attention a little too late (sorry, so be quick if you want to help) — but Enter the Dojo is fundraising at indiegogo. If you like what they’ve done so far, support the project!

(Thanks to Tom Hill for the tip-off.)

Accessory: kit bag

Following on from the previous fashion post, there’s a new image in the gallery: Martial Fashion (part 2).

This one addresses the problem of accessories. You can’t go to all the trouble of dressing up and then stomp out onto the mat or into the arena wearing shoes that don’t match. That would be wrong. So hopefully Fudebakudo can help the fashion-clueless amongst the martial arts community (you are out there: we see you) with this simple guidance, which this time makes some sensible suggestions for your shoes, bag, and gloves.

You might think that trying to merge the disparate worlds of hand-to-hand combat and a sensitivity to stitching would be impossible. But you’d be wrong. It turns out that having a feel for what goes with what and how a garment should hang without clinging can perfectly complement the sweaty business of twisting an opponent’s shoulder out of its socket or just kicking someone very, very hard. This point was made clear at this month’s Martial Arts Show at the NEC in Birmingham. The guest of honour was none other than fashion/nudity consultant Gok Wan. Doing a fashion show. No, really.*

Still to come in the series (obviously, I think): hats and bling.

This helpful illustration was drawn for the current issue of MAI magazine.

Wardrobe

There’s a new image in the gallery — this one is Martial Fashion (part 1).

The fact of the matter is that dressing up is a huge part of the martial arts and it’s by no means as necessary or normal as most of its practitioners would have you believe. Even the baggy white jimjams, or keikogi, popularised and standardised in judo and copied in karate and subsequent Japanese-influenced arts, are a relatively modern invention and nowhere near as traditional as they need to be in order to have any historical credibility. In fact, people wearing them might actually be dressing up as Japanese firemen.*

Judo: dressing up as firefighters and tripping each other up.

This cartoon was drawn for the current issue of MAI magazine.